On Dad's Watch
Family Life From a Dad's Perspective
On Dad's Watch Family Life From a Dad's Perspective |
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by Michael Malgeri One morning, our 10 year old bopped into the master bathroom to retrieve her hamster. She was in a good mood, chatting all kinds of mushy, doting, love words to the mouse as she carefully lifted him from his cage. It was shaping up to be a routine morning until my wife walked in a said, "What's that in your hair?" The night before, she'd spent the pre-bedtime hour rolling in soccer field grass and apparently, a few tiny ants decided to hitch a ride to Casa de Malgeri. At 10 years old, our daughter has the horse power of a small pony. While that comes in handy when we rearrange furniture, her auxilary super power, "scream-demolition," is annoyingly uncontrollable. After I extricated myself from the ceiling hole her scream launched me through, I joined my wife in trying to calm the histrionics. "EWWWWWW!!!!! EWWWEEE!!!! EWWWWW!!!!" she wouldn't stop. I decided to try a different tactic. "HEY!" my scream was not as potent as hers but it got her attention. "GIRL UP!" The effect was immediate. Her tears of baby-like fear vanished from the heat of her anger. Unfortunately, it was directed at me and I sensed my life was in danger. I bravely marched forward. "How can I trust that you'll be able to handle yourself on bike rides and when you're out alone with your friends if you can't handle a few little ants!" Ooooo, that hurt, but if I was going to make a key point it was my duty as a Dad to risk my life doing it. Her arms stiffened, her eyes buldged, her clenched teeth behind her beautiful poofy lips would have crushed a steel ingot. She turned from me slowly, perhaps driven by some primitive law of nature that prevents a child from pulverizing a parent. I slipped away quietly and jetted off to work in one piece. My gamble seemed to work but all I can say to my fellow Dads out there is, "Be careful with the "Girl Up!" thing. It can get VERY scary. |