On Dad's Watch
Family Life From a Dad's Perspective
 
Google

Girl Up!
by Michael Malgeri

One morning, our 10 year old bopped into the master bathroom to retrieve her hamster. She was in a good mood, chatting all kinds of mushy, doting, love words to the mouse as she carefully lifted him from his cage.

It was shaping up to be a routine morning until my wife walked in a said, "What's that in your hair?"

The night before, she'd spent the pre-bedtime hour rolling in soccer field grass and apparently, a few tiny ants decided to hitch a ride to Casa de Malgeri.

At 10 years old, our daughter has the horse power of a small pony. While that comes in handy when we rearrange furniture, her auxilary super power, "scream-demolition," is annoyingly uncontrollable.

After I extricated myself from the ceiling hole her scream launched me through, I joined my wife in trying to calm the histrionics.

"EWWWWWW!!!!! EWWWEEE!!!! EWWWWW!!!!" she wouldn't stop.

I decided to try a different tactic. "HEY!" my scream was not as potent as hers but it got her attention. "GIRL UP!"

The effect was immediate. Her tears of baby-like fear vanished from the heat of her anger. Unfortunately, it was directed at me and I sensed my life was in danger. I bravely marched forward.

"How can I trust that you'll be able to handle yourself on bike rides and when you're out alone with your friends if you can't handle a few little ants!" Ooooo, that hurt, but if I was going to make a key point it was my duty as a Dad to risk my life doing it.

Her arms stiffened, her eyes buldged, her clenched teeth behind her beautiful poofy lips would have crushed a steel ingot. She turned from me slowly, perhaps driven by some primitive law of nature that prevents a child from pulverizing a parent.

I slipped away quietly and jetted off to work in one piece.

My gamble seemed to work but all I can say to my fellow Dads out there is, "Be careful with the "Girl Up!" thing. It can get VERY scary.


Would you like to receive "On Dad's Watch" each week?!

Just enter your email address, click "submit" and check your inbox every Sunday morning!
email address